Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
