No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
