small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
