its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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