SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
