Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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