I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
