ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
