We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
