Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We are two peas in an std pod
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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