2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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