i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
