youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
