You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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