You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
