I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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