He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
