Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
