I can tuck mytits in my pants
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
