somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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