you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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