hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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