now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
