I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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