Christians are straight up FREAKS
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
