ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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