Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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