im having a threesome with these popsicles
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
