I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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