I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
