i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
