You're my little dorito
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
