Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
