You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
