Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
