Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
