She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I will pee on everything he values.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
