So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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