do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
