Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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