I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
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