So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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