I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
