Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
