can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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