My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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