He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
