Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
