First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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