just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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