at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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