Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I love having hate sex.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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